Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Real Housewives Recap

The Real Housewives of New York City is my favorite pleasure. A close second is the recaps posted by Gawker. They are stupendously bitchy. I'll quote this week's in part:

Meanwhile in Brooklyn, Alex and her wife Simon were going clothes shopping. IN BROOKLYN. Isn't that disgusting? They sifted through piles and piles of garbage, their hands red and raw from the broken bottle shards and hobo-scrapes, flaming cats running by them, screeching into the night. Eventually they found a soiled heap of garments at some trendypants boutique in Williamsburg. Alex was kind enough to explain to us that where they live, in Cobble Hill, it's all fancy tea and crumpets and no one ever farts, but up here in hipster town Billsburg, it's anything goes. If you can lash it around your emaciated legs and sport it like a pant, you can wear it. So Alex strapped herself into various ensembles while Miss Simon sat on the sidelines, giving bitchy commentary like "If that's charmeuse, then I'm Diana Rigg." The young designers and owners of the store seemed scared and befuddled, shifting awkwardly in front of the cameras and these strange, cawing ostrich people. Glad for the attention, but frightened of the consequences. Meanwhile, in the store's backroom, a man with a pointy goatee in a red satin suit cackled as he clutched a document signed in blood. "They're mine..." he hissed. "All mine..."

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